It's midnight, but I'm not tierd and don't wanna go to sleep. My tinnitus is troubling me. I've started to thinking of it, and its then it get annoying... But after some days or a week I stop thinking of it and things gets back to normol- at the moment.
To day my grandmother had another surgery for her cancer She had her first two years ago I think, but it have returned. I was at the cinema tonight, and when I came home my mother told me the hospital has called and the doctors said the cancer has spread to several places and that they can't remove it by surgery... Since my grandmother can't take the cytotoxin, I don't know how this is going to end I know my grandmother is a strong person and always stays postiv no matter what. She wasn't worrying about this surgery and was very calm and happy when I visited her two days befor the operation. Why can't things stay as they are...
I'll pray for her, hoping that someone will listen.
All good things must come to and end, but the bad ones can go on forever...


I struck me recently that things are going to changes very radical in a not so distant future. I've gratuated an have no idea of what to do next. I feel so lost right now in my life. 's mother Arja predicted my futur recently, she has the gift to do that. And she said that I within five years will leave Sweden and move to another country to find myself and find the answer to what to do with my live... I thinks she was talking of England. I've always felt like being home there. The language , the country, the nice people...
I think I have to do something like that to find myself again, I still feel so lost and alone in this world. I need to find something to hold on to and to strive for.

Well, here comes the night and I need to get some sleep. The sun is still shining, but whatfor?




Current soundtrack of my life: Idina Menzel: I stand [link]

When you ask me, who I am:
What is my vision? And do I have a plan?
Where is my strength? Have I nothing to say?




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My official website: [link]

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